Shop Life Special Edition: The Mysterious Trans Experience- Act 1

Act 1-  How I Became A Trans Ally

I have my background and upbringing to thank for the statement in the picture above. I believe that has alot to do with what kind of person one grows up to be and one of the big reasons why "the other side" feels the way it does... Upbringing and background more ridgid, religious, bigoted, narrow-minded, inexperienced, traditional and perhaps even a bit naive. It may be one or all or a combination of those things, vastly different from mine.

First, this for those of you who don't know me personally the short version of my journey to the lady I am today... And Second, for those of you who DO, maybe you'll learn something new about your friend today:

I was born on February 20, 1985 in San Diego, CA and was 100% a 90's kid, raised on the West Coast by East Coast born parents (Mom from Bronx, NY & Dad from Pittsburgh, PA). I was baptized Catholic more out of family tradition than actual religious beliefs. Other than the occasional traditional church visit for Easter or Christmas which stopped after 6th grade, That was pretty much it for organized religion in my life. As a family we never really discussed faith or "God" or whether or not he existed. My parents let us make up our own minds (even though they though some of my beliefs were silly as fuck),  we had a sense of something greater than ourselves, and a belief in a few things unexplained. Mostly we were taught right and wrong, good or bad, with room for there to be undefined Grey area.

We lived in a neighborhood called North Park which shares a border with what I affectionately call the local "gayborhood" Hillcrest... San Diego's Famous and predominantly LGBTQ oriented neighborhood, one of the nicest in the city. Our Gay mecca.

Just living in the area I was exposed to "The Community" back then being Trans wasn't really apart of it like it is today. Anyone who wasn't gay got lumped into a category with more derogatory terms than we use today, was mostly considered weird, and were snickered at privately and sometimes not so.

Although I was young and sometimes even snickered along, it was mostly because it was expected. Early on, it was understood that, in my world: there are men who love men, women who love women, and men that dress and live as women (I hadnt met a Transman to my knowledge til I was an adult). Also, by this time I was OBSESSED with Rupaul, which I knew was a man in drag, his beauty and style were so unique for the times, I became infatuated with men in drag... so then all men dressed as women became Drag Queens to me. I ended up learning and loving the "gay community" , on my own, just by being in my environment.

As a teen, I found out a close male relative was gay. It wasn't widely mentioned but it wasnt a secret.

In my early 20s: My sister came out as gay. Which got me yelled at by my Mom because I didn't tell her first! To which I replied that we shared a room for a good few years... My side was more frilly, Hers was more kill-y. I pretty much figured it out a long time ago but it wasn't my news to tell. Parents are fine with it. No issues.

In my late 20s: A younger male cousin came out as Trans. Even then I ain't sure what that meant, not REALLY. But I accepted her anyway because she's my cousin and I love her no matter what her path in life. She doesn't speak to her biological father because he can only accept her as a gay Man... Not who she really is. And that hurts me more than she knows... .

When I started working at Barnett and befriended an older male coworker who was very wise and insightful about a number of things including Trans community. Which didn't make a whole lot of sense to me til I had been working there for a while and found out that he had been born female. I was damned surprised because my good friend doesn't appear as anything else than traditionally male, I noticed that he was smaller in stature than your average guy but that's it.

Now,  I had questions! He graciously answered them all (continues to do so if I pose any more) and he was also patient enough to gently correct me if I unintentionally did or said something considered offensive, even going as far as to kindly explain and offer me more polite options for the future.

I know that most people were not and are not now as lucky to grow up in situation similar to my experience. And that's okay! I'm not trying to change your mind as a Trans Ally. I'm trying to spread the knowledge of what I've learned with those of you who grew up more traditionally with the hope that maybe through understanding, will come peaceful tolerance and if I'm lucky, acceptance and even love for your fellow humans no matter how they identify.