Shop Life: Volume I

View of the Toy Room at Barnett Ave. Adult Superstore

Working at an Adult Store, you get to meet interesting people and get yourself into interesting situations. Here are a few we had to deal with in the past two weeks:



The Nasty Stripper Bitch- This chick was a trip! She brought back some white lingerie that she had previously danced in (Strike 1), dumped a bagful on the counter in front me claiming that the came out. She demanded a return or exchange. So of course I ask my manager even though I know what her answer is going to be (at most stores, sales are FINAL! We have a 10 day return policy on DEFECTIVE items.) So I show her the garment in question, She determines that the damage occurred due to being worn and denies the request. I go back to the customer and tell her. She proceeds to stare at me for a minute straight, I just stared back and told her I'm sorry I couldn't help. She exclaims that she spends alot of money at the store and to tell my manager that we have lost her business and won't be returning...I said "okay, have a nice day". So since we couldn't do anything with it, I go to throw the pile into the trash. But before I do, a white thong falls to the floor...I go to pick it up and stop dead...its got a huge yellow and brown stain the entire length of the crotch! NASTY! How are you gonna be a stripper when you don't even wash your ass?! Who wants THAT in their face?! Let me also mention that this bitch looked to be about 40! I wouldn't have guessed that she was a dancer until she told me! My shift goes by, I get off and go home. At about 8pm I get a call from one of the managers, asking me what I had done with all the clothing, I told him what happened and that I had thrown in out. Turns out Nasty wanted the clothing BACK! What the fuck?! Why would you think we would have kept those things. Delusional and Gross!

The Medical Play Case

Handcuff Guy- I started the morning of May 21, 2015 in kind of a stupor. I wasn't awake yet which means all types of fun stuff was gonna happen! Above you will see a picture of our medical play case where most of our chrome toys are. This guy who looks like a trucker asks me to see one of the pairs of cuffs we had in there. So I get them out and he asks me to cuff him, so I do...about twice before I figure out hes getting a jolly out of me cuffing him. So I casually stop and finish up my opening duties. He wanders over to the Men's Underwear and selects a pair, asks me a few questions about sizing (he was a big guy) and then purchases a red thong. He asked to change into it and I said sure and let him into the dressing room. He comes out, fully clothed thank god and proceeds to thank me and start going on and on about how well they fit. And of course, he had to give me the full effect by pulling his pants part way down and showing me the biggest, whitest, ass I've ever seen! I so did not need that! I start talking to another customer and he kept floating around near us awkwardly like he wanted to talk to me more, probably listening, and finally he gets the hint that I'm not gonna be done helping any time soon and he finally leaves.

New Release Toys and The Lube Wall

Mr. Clearance Lube- Who walks into a store and shouts "Where's your Clearance Lube at?" This guy does apparently...we are pretty affordable, why would you want the stuff that WASN'T selling and no one else wanted. I feel sorry for who ever you're gonna have sex with, they don't even rate full priced lube!

The Shower Guy- He comes in, tells us that he's promoting a club...doesn't say which one. He's not dressed like a club promoter, doesn't have any fliers and he walks with a cane. He then asks my coworker "What can I get here for $3.00". I had to stifle a laugh because you could get like two lube pillows and not much else at my store. My coworker says as much. Then he disappears into our bathroom and is in there for a while. The janitor comes up to us and lets us know the guy is taking a whore shower in our Men's Room. So we sent a mail coworker in after his to kick him out. There's bathrooms at the beach, c'mon! As the guy is leaving, we are watching him on camera...as he rolls his shopping cart away! Homeless Club Promoter?! That's new.



So there you have it. Just a few things that we have to deal with on the daily. There's plenty more to come so stay tuned.


Let Your Freak Flag Fly!

~Illy Stylez~

Illy Stylez